Mea culpa, loyal GQ readers: if your corner of the internet has been dominated by Adidas sneaker discourse this week, we know exactly who to blame. (It’s us!) A full year after we unilaterally declared the Samba the sneaker of the summer, the once-humble soccer shoe is vying to sweep the title yet again—and people feel all kinds of ways about it. Here’s the bad news: the Samba isn’t going anywhere. Here’s the good news: Adidas makes plenty of killer Samba-esque sneakers that won’t trigger a panic attack—or inspire smirks from your extremely online pals. So, in the name of kind-vibed journalistic service, we rounded up a murderers’ row of ‘em right here, in one handy list you can reference the next time you accidentally Spider-Man meme yourself. For once, the cure for your particular brand of unease isn’t therapy: it’s just another Adidas sneaker.
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Adidas Spezial “Hochelga” shoes
The Hochelga sure looks like a Samba, but the gold foil print on the side lets your pals know you’re ahead of the curve.
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Adidas “Munchen” shoes
The dainty, retro-doused kicks you should pair with your biggest tonal fits.
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Adidas Spezial “Arkesden” shoes
Pumpkin spice tastes great in the spring, too.
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Adidas “Gazelle” shoes
If you didn’t swipe a pair of these from our Mo Salah cover story last year, now’s a great time to rectify your mistake.
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