Before she went for the head, Shiv went for Kendall’s stomach. In the series finale of Succession, we finally find out who succeeds Logan Roy as the CEO of Waystar Royco. For a brief moment, at a luxury villa in Barbados, it appeared that the Roy siblings had finally, finally, formed a unified front to squash the GoJo deal and push certified Number One Boy Kendall to the CEO position. Alas, one cannot assume such a role without having to undergo some trials and tribulations, and clearly four seasons of manslaughter, mayhem, and mischief were not enough for Shiv and Roy to let Kendall become the big boss. No, Kendall needed a meal fit for a king, prepped by his loving siblings, all courtesy of a souped-up Vitamix blender.
So what goes into a “meal fit for a king?” Apparently, a lot of things that range from “fine by itself” to “disgusting no matter the circumstance”—eggs (with the shell), cocoa powder, milk, Tabasco, sundry condiments, “frozen nobbies,” a loogie from Shiv—all of which should definitely should not be blended together. But blend they do: In typical fashion, the Vitamix makes light work of the concoction.
We clocked the blender as one from the brand’s Ascent series—potentially the A2300 or A2500 because of the digital display timer—which is its most premium line of blenders. (The even more high-quality models in the line, the A3300 and A3500, offer touch-screen controls but essentially the same blending power.) The standout features of the Ascent series models is its “Self-Detect” technology, which adapts the blender’s speed and power to whatever container you’re using and whatever mixture you’re making—even if it’s something like this hodgepodge of nasty bits.
At least cleaning that swill out will be easy. Vitamix blenders are notoriously simple to wash out—dump in some dish soap and water, crank that baby up, and watch it essentially clean itself out. Just rinse it afterwards, and you can use it again in a jiffy—ideally to make something actually worth consuming.
Kendall squeamishly gulps down a few mouthfuls of the smoothie, but he ends up wearing the rest as a crown. Unfortunately, this rare show of family love and bonding doesn’t pan out during the next-day’s board meeting—because even in the series finale of Succession, Kendall could never win. At least the eldest boy (sorry, Con) ends up near the water in case he needs