The Patagonia Black Hole Tote Isn’t Free With a Subscription, but It’s Still Worth It

Tote bags inevitably get filthy and there’s nothing you can do about it. A New Yorker tote might say you moved to New York two years ago—an absolutely disgusting New Yorker tote says, additionally, you’ve taken it on the subway even one time. 

This was my dilemma when shopping for a new bag for my increasingly-frequent work-from-office days. I needed something to carry my laptop and a book, and ideally a small grocery run’s worth of supplies on the way home, too. But most importantly, I wanted something that I could take onto the subway every day without stressing too much about the mysterious juice that’s sometimes sloshing around in there. 

I was already familiar with the rubbery coated nylon Patagonia uses in the Black Hole line from a gigantic duffel I use when I’m flying with bulky backpacking gear, so when I saw the Black Hole tote, my search was over. It looks cool—in black, it also looks plausibly adventurous without giving the sense that you’re about to set up base camp. But more importantly, it’s easy to keep clean, since the non-permeable material just wipes right off. 

It’s not always going to be fresh and shiny (and that coating is shiny). But that’s okay: unlike wrinkly organic cotton—no shots at your local NPR affiliate—Patagonia products just tend to look rad when they’re beat to hell. (Or a little stained by the subway juice.)

Not sure what to stuff your new tote with? You’re in luck: all the piping-hot menswear you need this season is compiled below, in our handy-dandy guide to beating the heat in style. Naturally, we’ve got you covered on the essentials—shorts, shades, swim trunks—but don’t forget to make room for a few capital-S Swerves, too. When you’ve secured a bag this ludicrously capacious, it’d be a shame not to fill it to capacity —whether it’s with a grip of knit polos, a stack of vacuum-sealed khakis, or just a hodgepodge of frosty jewelry.